Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
