I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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