I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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