He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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