Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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