I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
