Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
