i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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