White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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