I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
