I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
