She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
