is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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