what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
