remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You left your phone here
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