if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
they're like a gay fantastic four
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I have aggressive nipples.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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