y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Are my feet made of real feet?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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