that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
