look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
