therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
