D3 body, D1 cock
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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