can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
