Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
