WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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