thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
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she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
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They took my balls.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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