we have officially lost it.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
she told me i tasted like america
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
