Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
