I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize