ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
