his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
