I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
