Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize