she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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