i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I faked an abortion last night.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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