dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
