careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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