My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
