Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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