I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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