Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
