I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
