those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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