I like my sex mixed with concussions.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
