There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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