he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
