I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
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After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
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Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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