its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
