we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
