adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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