I need help removing her.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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