I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
