Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
