after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
