If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
