Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
