You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Randomize
