And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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