I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Say something about gay babies.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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